WHY!!

I am so sick of being an independent adult. Why do kids my own age get to mooch of the government and sit on their asses all day while I try to dig up pennies to afford my daily life. Everything I have worked for everything that I have so why can't I ever catch a break? I am so stressed sometimes that I don't even know what to do with myself except lock myself in my room and cry. I truly feel so much sympathy for anyone who is in the same situation. I am trying my hardest to stay out of back-breaking debt with my education but it is really hard to live off of a Hannaford salary. My family is really helpful and I am very grateful but I also know that they don't have much money either so I can't take anything from them. I guess I just need to rant a little and let it out...

I Want Proof

http://www.catholiceducation.org/articles/sexuality/se0002.html

Alright, while reading this article I started with an open mind. However, like every other time I read anything Catholic I ended it irritated."I don't have time to go into the "myths" of overpopulation" Now there is overpopulation that is why there is a food crisis, energy crisis, and laws banning families from having more than two children. I don't have time to delve into the "myths" of religion but I can recommend some books.

Okay I am just mocking the author at this point but I use the pill and I don't want to start a family and lets put this frankly I do not want kids so I will do everything in my power not to. That is my right and I will not have some stuffy Catholic man teling me that that is wrong because he will never get pregnant and I don't care what "God" tells him. Contraceptives have been around since the 18 hundreds and so was the first vibrator. There are plenty of women who are married and Catholic who don't want "as many kids as God will give them" and because fankly that's a lot of money and there are too many people in this world.

Do not get me wrong I understand that people are going to believe this but there is nothing to back this theory up.

I want proof.

Momento Mori

How is it that someone I haven't seen or spoken to in years can have such an impact on me? Death is tragic but it happens to all of us, yet for some reason I can't shake the feel of a rug being ripped from underneath me. It is as if a certain rock that I hadn't noticed was taken away from me leaving me kind of unstable. I don't really know what to make of this, should I be this upset? I don't know.

I'm In a Creative Mood.

The day was as crisp as a ripe plum fresh on your lips. No day could ever be like today with its white virginal overcast. The white lilies seemed to fall from the sky without any effort at all. No day could ever be more gentle than today. The caressing of the veil, the flutter of the zipper like butterflies kissing your back. Today is the day you get everything you ever wanted, the white picket fence, the white house with blue shutters, and the perfect man waiting in the white tux. Those two delicate words hanging on his lips that will bind you together for the rest of your lives. You place the bouquet of pink roses to your stomach and transcend down the spiral staircase walking to your perfectly planned destiny.

The doors to the chapel open and the flowers so virginal and pure seem to wilt in your presence. The guests smirk at you and your gown. "That woman should not be wearing white." Their eyes piercing through you peering at your deepest secrets. There is nowhere to go but down.

College! Very Creative Title Huh?!

Shit I have not been on here or posted anything in quite some time. Well, I graduated and am now in my second semester of college. College is the most fun I have had learning since I can remember but no one can actually explain to you how college is going to feel to you, some people say it's hard, while others say it's easy. I would have to say that with the right support system it can be somewhat of a breeze. However, college is not the most important thing in life. Don't get me wrong I love college and I would not be able to be in the field I want to be without a good education but it is not for everyone. My boyfriend for example went to a tech school for automotive, he is set with the tools he needs to succeed. I mean I understand that people think education is very important and it is..for most people. I guess I will never understand why some people fill their lives with education, there is more to life than going to school. Hell I wanna be a teacher but I understand that people have lives and want to spend time with the people that they love. Now back to me, college is such a great place, for me. I love being in an environment filled with people who WANT to learn. Yippie college.

I Hate You Patrick.

Patrick you are an ass. You call me a slut for no reason, god forbid I liked you at one point. Your girlfriend is SO lucky to have such a wonderful man in her life, are you picking up on my sarcasm? Now I used to like this Pat kid, he was funny and shy....until he wans't anymore. Now Pat just rambles on about nothing and talks to the people I despise. Now he isn't all bad or I would not talk to him anymore but he is rather hard to ignore. I hope you read this Patrick. I know this may seem cruel but if you knew him like I know him you would understand. He hasn't forgiven me for stuff that happened over a year ago but yet he throws a hissy fit because I will not forgive him for calling me a slut (Indirectly of course). Now Pat sometimes you are funny and other times I wish you would go away because you remind me of how much I liked you and of how much you have changed. Now by change I mean turn into a complete ass! I hope you understand that I say all of this will all the love my little heart can muster...I think.

Caylee Anthony

First off I would like to say that any woman who kills their child is an abomination. Children are supposed to be a gift from god and they are your flesh and blood, you gave them life why would you want to take it away? That is a question I would love to ask Casey Anthony. How could she kill such a beautiful and smart child?! So obviously I think that Casey Anthony killed her child, I cannot ignore the facts. One the car smelled like rotting flesh, two Caylee was not dumped far from the house, oh and Casey does not seem to give a damn that her child is dead. I mean I know that I have yet to give birth but I know that if I was dead or even missing my mother would be a living train wreck. I know that we all deal with things in our own way, but is going out to night clubs and texting your friends all the time yet not mentioning your missing daughter considered grieving? I do not think so. Casey did not even report her daughter missing, the grandmother did, and that to me is saying something. I just do not understand how a mother could duct tape their child’s mouth and stuff them into two garbage bags and think that that is okay.
I am sure that it is shocking to the parents of Casey that their daughter, whom they love, could commit such an act but that does not mean she did not kill Caylee. I know that parental love is sometimes too unconditional but does that mean she did not do it? Because her parents and friends think that she could never do such a thing. Well I am sorry to be so blunt but they are in denial, the way Casey just looks at you it is blank and emotionless and she was like that from the beginning. I could understand if she became unemotional after the death of her daughter but I simply cannot forgive being that way throughout the whole case. I do not know what the arguments are for the people who find her innocent, how few they seem to be, besides the argument that she simply could not do a thing like killing her daughter. Even though I feel in my gut that Casey killed Caylee I know how awful it must feel to have a daughter that may have killed your grandchild because they would lose both of them and that is something no mother ever wants to face.
All I can do is hope that justice is brought down on Casey for killing a child whose life had not yet begun. I have noticed that crimes like these make is appreciate our mothers for putting up with us instead of the alternative. This case is a sad one but there are plenty more like them and that is a terrible thing. I know I am repeating myself but I still cannot believe that a mother would want to kill their own child. I know that I do not want child when I get older but if I had one I would give him/her all the love in the world even when he/she gets on my nerves that is still your baby.

2010 Bitches!@#!%#$#

So I was listening to Lady Gaga and it hit me! I am graduating this year, my whole life is gonna change. Am I ready for this? I have no idea. It's scary as all hell. What if I don't do well on my SAT'S what if I don't get into college and I don't fulfill my dream. Shit it's scary. I don't really know what to do. I thought I was ready for it but sometimes it's easier to doubt yourself I suppose. I want this year to go right, but I am sure that's what everyone wants and that rarley happenes. I don't know this year I want to be selfish and do the things I want to do not what others want me to do. I am just worried things will not work out for me. It's okay to be scared right?! I sure fucking hope so be I don't think I could be more scared. This year is full of changes and I don't know if I will be able to handle them when they come. I mean I am only a teenager, we don't know anything. Maybe I am worrying too much but how could I not. My whole life is gonna change..

Christmas

I know Christmas is supposed to be about being with family and feeling love but why does all that seem to fade when we get older? All December all I heard about was how Christmas was stressful, but why? I don't really care about the gifts anymore but it seems that as soon as that went away so did our family. I know that they all have families of their own but it doesn't seem the same without them. I always feel like I am crying over spily milk on this subject but...still I loved being around all my cousins and whatnot. Now it just seems blah it seems like all of our traditions went to shit and it leaves me feeling empty and unfulfilled. I don't know I guess I just miss the old Christmas. I don't want the fun and love of Christmas to just fade away as I get older....

I Hate People (Part 2)

So today at work people proved my theory, that people are idiots. I love how people think that because I am a cashier that I have to unload your baskets, if I didn't fill it for you I DO NOT want to unload it. Really are people that freakin' lazy?! Also if you are using foodstamps PLEASE tell me if there isn't enough on the damn card to cover your purchase so I can avoid dirty looks from other customers. Another thing I don't get is why people expect cashiers to be super fast when they get in line, ya know what we have other shit to do and waiting on lazy customers isn't at the top of our lists so calm down please. I don't mind if people are in a hurry but you don't need to huff and sigh, WE GET IT! Another thing I noticed today is that people love to insult you while hiding behind random chatter for example someone called my friend fat today but it was a "polite" way of saying it... Uh there is no polite way to tell someone they are fat. And on behalf of my friend SHE IS NOT FAT! I am so sick of dirt bags. It is just gonna get worse when we switch to Hannafags.

My Deleted Abortion Editorial.

I have a question, if you were, oh, 17 and you got pregnant what would you do? Well I would get an abortion. Oh My God! Did I really just type that...well I did because I have the RIGHT to choose if I want that child. Now it can be legal or we could have women going to Mexico and have some weird foreigner probing our downstairs with coat hangers, or better yet our boyfriends could push us down the stairs and pray it dies. One of the pro-life websites I looked at had some arguments and here is one I really enjoyed: "Slavery in centuries past and abortions in this century were defended and promoted by the same arguments.Consider the case in the USA: In 1857, in the Dred Scott case, the US Supreme Court decided, by a 7 to 2 majority, that according to the US Constitution, black people were not legal persons. They were the property of the owner. He could buy, or sell, or even kill them" Now how does a baby compare to SLAVERY?! We are not forcing this UNBORN fetus to clean our houses, cook our food, and take care of us! These children are not our property but guess what, they are taking up space in our uterus we have to take care of it, not the other way around. Why would any good human want a baby born to a mother that does not want him/her? I don't understand why people are so upset over this matter. Why should other people be able to tell me whether I should have sex or not; whether I should have a baby or not. I would never tell anyone what is best for them. The pro-life people need to take a break from all their preaching. There are plenty of babies born each day to keep this world going. These babies being born daily are probably born into families who actually want to care for a child. What if you do not want a child yet you have sex with your boyfriend/husband? Does that mean you HAVE to keep that child because you have sex. Sure if you are responsible enough to have sex you "should" be responible enough to have a child, well I disagree. People have sex all the time and that does not mean they are responsible...at all. All I am saying is that EVERY woman has the right to chose what she wants. These pro-life people think they have all the "god given answers" well here is my reality check to them.

I Hate People (part 1)

Okay, so as a lot of people know I don't eat meat. Well the other day at work I was accused of buying a sandwhich with meat on it. Now the girl who accused me of doing this is someone who has been getting on my nerves since I started working at GU. I confronted her about it because she had gone to my manager about it. WTF?! Anyway I went to talk to her and she basically denied doing so, she said she was "questioning the incident". Now to me if you were questioning it you would ask all persons involved and I bet you can guess that she DID NOT ask me if there was meat on my sandwhich. I was sick of talking to her because she had nothing good to say so I left. THEN I went into the back room and she followed me, yes she FOLLOWED me. She started scolding me saying I was unprofessional and the I swore at her in the aisle and I have three people who agree when I say that I did not swear at her. I blew up which was the obvious thing and stormed out and called the head manager. Now I thought this whole thing was over until I found out today that a manager WHO WAS NOT THERE has a story about what happened. How can people be so stupid, Gawd.